Shades of Grey

Shades of Grey

Friday, June 17, 2011

Are you afraid that success will slip into the future?

It's happening!   I have been diligently at work  on my art putting long hrs in on the marketing side as well as the artistic side and it happened...I started selling. 

I waited a long time for this.  I had other jobs in life that while I liked the work (chef/florist/2nd hand clothing store owner) I dreamed that I could spend my days making & selling my art full time.  Life took a shift and my husband's job took us to a place where it wasn't likely I was going to find a job.  I had my opportunity, I knew it, and I seized it.  I had no other choice than to make this work.  That was 2 years ago and it took until now and a self imposed education on social media networking that it started happening. I started making money and now I am afraid.

I never understood "being afraid of success" until now. Now I have  fears. Fear that every time some one buys a piece over $1000 that they are going to send it back because they think it wasn't worth it.  Hasn't happened yet.  I am afraid that I can't keep up with everything.  Mosaics take a long time especially when you work in such small pieces like myself.  Right now I have orders on a 2 month waiting list.  I am afraid that they might not wait and therefore that money might not be there.  Hasn't happened yet.  I am afraid that I can't keep up the business end .  I am a typical artist that always has my head buried in my work and says..."I'll get to that tomorrow"  I just organized everything last week.  Now it's much easier

I don't think that people are afraid of success literally.I believe that people, like myself, are afraid  success will go away.  I wouldn't call myself successful yet. However I am  having a taste of  it (my idea of " it " anyway)   and rather than just being happy and being present in the moment  I have been  fearing it will go away as fast as it came.  Isn't that strange?   I suppose most artists have their heads in the clouds and spend their time somewhere between daydreaming and reality.  To be present takes a conscious effort.  I was the kid doodling in the back of the class.  The teacher always thought that I wasn't paying attention but I was.  I just needed to keep my hands busy to be able to focus.

My point in going on about this is hard to articulate but I will try.  Most people  live their lives looking forward into the future.  When you get to the future you don't even know that you are there because now it is the present.  So when I used to dream about actually making money doing this I couldn't wait to get to  here but now I am here.  It is only the beginning but the beginning of any endeavor is usually the part that is looked back on as the fondest.  So I am going to be in the moment and be happy that I am here and not stress out over what can happen in the future....except of course whether I am successful or not:)

I want to give a special thank you to Alyson B. Stanfield-- and Maria Brophy  for all of your incredible blogs with helpful information that got me started on the web